So my husband and I are detoxing from caffeinated beverages, alcohol, sugar, and processed foods for 10 days...and then my girls, SH2 (small human 2 is 3 years old) and SH3 (small human 3 is 18 months old) picked up colds. Despite this, we remained prayerfully resolute in our goals.
I am 100% certain my kids high-five in the bathroom when I am not looking to hand off tasks to each other. My husband and I envision their conversations go something like this:
SH1: "OK so I have been eating for like three weeks now, it is my turn to starve on three green beans and a piece of cheese a day, I will just stuff myself at school when they can't see me eat."
SH2: "Sounds good, I will now start drinking all my milk and polish off tons of fruit and beef so much so that they won't even recognize me as their child".
I have a feeling this was the conversation last night between SH2 and SH3...
SH3: "I feel a tickle in my throat, I plan to cough non-stop from right before mom and dad are done with their movie at like 10:00pm until 1:00am. I will ignore all black voodoo magic bull-crap that she tries on me in attempts to stop my cough, but at 1:30am they are yours!"
SH2: "Okay sounds great, I know it makes her crazy when I complain of ear pain in the one ear that doesn't have a tube anymore, so I will wake up crying with that every 20 minutes or so until 2:30am. Okay? I have to get some sleep after all. High five?"
Now drag yourself bleary eyed to 6:31am when Susie-my-ear-hurts pads into your room.
I ignore her and pretend to be asleep, my husband thankfully scoots her out of the room as I peel myself from bed and into the shower. I am up, lets do this.
SH1(small human 1 is 5 years old) is polishing off his second bowl of granola and slipping his skinny arms into his backpack as I stumble into the kitchen only to realize...I CAN'T HAVE COFFEE TODAY.
I grab SH1 and a bottle of water and rush out the door.
"Yes, SH1 I would love to practice your spelling words on the way to school. Do you feel ready for the day? I bet you are, after all you got a good night's sleep."