Friday, February 21, 2014

Trader Joe and the Return of the Strawberry Hiccups

Dear Trader Joe's,

I am so sorry.  It was not meant to happen in your store.  I had a just picked up SH1 from school to have his teacher tell me that he complained of belly pain and was not himself.  I was not worried; I knew this was constipation.  I gave him some juice to drink on the way home both as a treat and to help hydrate.  After all I am an internist and have been pregnant three times such that I know the curative benefits of having regular bowel movements.  We went to Costco to pick up our photo Valentine cards.  My son reassured me that he was okay and really wanted to do this.  I had one more stop to make to pick up salsa for the class party tomorrow as well as bottle of wine for liquid patience and stamina as I helped address and put together 27 valentines with a 6 year old.
Finished product with a homemade flower in mine instead of a lollipop


For a Good Time-Out Call My 3 Small Humans

We traveled north this weekend for the festivities known as "Gold Rush Days" in Wickenburg, AZ.  My in-laws live there and as both my husband and I come from a small town we love this yearly brief glimpse back into small town life and how they celebrate their history.  
Parade watching
The kick-off parade is magical especially the live long horn cattle riding in a car and the candy throwing Shriner's in mini-cars.  
Cattle Car
Our small humans love every second of this parade that is followed by an afternoon watching the senior pro rodeo.  


Clearly the organizers of the rodeo do not have small children because the 2:00 pm start time after an exciting parade filled morning is always wrought with difficulty for us.  I was feeling ill, it was 83 degrees outside and we were all dressed in our full western attire with western shirts, boots, and jeans.  No seats and no shade were available because we were, as usual, an hour late.  Believe it or not SH1 and SH2 could give one crap about a rodeo--I know I know this is not terribly surprising.  They wanted to jump off the stairs, talk to the horses, and play in the dirt.  I wanted them to stop throwing rocks.  They were hot, bored and tired which is the trifecta for whining induction.  I walked SH2 all the way to the bathroom after she claimed "something was coming out of her" and waited in a smelly line only for her not to go a single drop.  I was done with the rodeo and had less than 8 seconds of it.  I let my frustration get the best of me and started throwing every kid I saw in time-out. 
Cutest cowpokes taking their rodeo time-out

Thursday, February 20, 2014

You are Reading An Award Winning Blog! or a chain letter...

I have been blogging for a total of five minutes and was nominated for an award.
I am a Liebster Award Nominee!  Another bright and beautiful blogger, Lauren Snow of The Lovely Blog thought of and nominated me.
Here is how it works.  The Liebster (a German word meaning beloved) Award is basically an award given from one blogger to another with the concept similar to a chain letter.  I have now accepted said nomination so I am tasked with answering 11 questions about myself from Lauren Snow at The Lovely Blog and then I nominate other bloggers and ask them 11 questions.  The whole point is to identify newer blogs with huge potential but not huge numbers of followers and encourage and support each other to build community and readership.  
  
Does this make me an award winning blog yet?

Okay okay so if you have to wonder if it is chain letter or a real award then it is likely the one that is less impressive.  Right?  That being said I will take advantage of this opportunity and tell the world at large a bit more about my myself and my motives. 

11 questions that Lauren Snow wanted to know about me:


1. Lipstick or gloss?  Lipstick in the morning and then gloss later on for touch-ups

2. How old were you when you first wore makeup? OMG I have no idea, lets say 14?  That is a little depressing now that I think about it.

3. What's your best kept beauty secret? Eyebrows are the window to your soul.  It is far easier to take less than it is to put back more, so go easy on them. 

4. What is #1 on your bucket list? Rome!  I took so much art history and college I would love to see the Parthenon up close

5. Why did you start a blog? Honestly?  We are all in this together and parenting is hard but it is better if we can have a few laughs about the ridiculous parts and learn lessons along the way.  I thought that maybe I could help a few people out there know that they are not alone in their anxiety and frustration and that we all go through it.  It is just figuring out how to handle each moment a little better the next time.  

6. What's your favorite movie? I will watch any Will Farrell movie anytime they are on (terrible I know, try not to judge), but my favorite movie was the one that my grandfather Cyril Hume wrote the screen play too "Forbidden Planet".  Science Fiction is in my blood and I love it, seriously I LOVE it.  

7. If you could have dinner with anyone who would it be? Depends...are we talking wine and goat cheese and beet salads because then it would be Tina Fey.  I feel like we would be best friends and laugh a lot.  (Don't act so cool everyone has that movie star they know they would be best friends with if they met.)  If it was a 7 course dinner and serious conversation, Atul Gawande who wrote the books The Checklist Manifesto and Better inspires me to be better than I am and I would love to hear his wisdom to improve my practice as a physician and educator even more than he already has.  

8.  Are you a night owl or early riser? My husband jokes that I don't sleep; I hang upside down in the closet.  I don't consider myself either really.  I do not require a lot of sleep and typically wake up at 5:00 am to work out after staying up until 11:30 pm watching TV, reading, or doing laundry. 

9. Coffee or tea? Coffee + cream + sugar in the morning and tea later in the day, preferably iced.

10. Favorite quote. Ephesians 6:13  "...and having done all, stand firm" AND "Little acorns lead to mighty oaks"  ~fortune cookie Pei Wei circa 2012

11. Favorite city. Why? Again I am split between two.  Maui, HI for warm beachy relaxation and fresh seafood.  If I had the choice of where to live for the rest of my life it would be on the beach. The other is Prague.  I visited there once when I was pregnant with my first small human.  Even pregnant and exhausted I thought it was the most interesting and beautiful place I had ever been.  I can only imagine going there foot loose and fancy free to imbibe and see everything it has to offer without crushing fatigue and sobriety as my bed fellows.

Blogs I nominate

Questions I would like the nominated blogs to answer about themselves:
1.  Why did you start a blog?
2.  Who is a hero in your life?
3.  What is your most prized possession?
4.  Cat or Dog?  Why?
5.  What is your favorite post you have written?  Please provide a link in your answer.
6.  How did you pick your blog's name?
7.  What are three things you cannot live without?  
8.  Knowing what you know now.  What advice would you give your 13 year old self?
9.  What is your favorite post on my blog 3 Small Humans?
10.  How do you spread the word about your blog?
11.  What is your perfect Saturday?

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

How My Life is Like My Amazon Cart

I would certainly consider my life full.  My Amazon cart is also full.  Well it can never be 'full' per se, you can just keep adding more items to it and 'Save for Later', something I desperately wish that I could do in real life.  I have over 300 items in my cart, some for years.  I rarely if ever go back and look at them, but those items were hand picked by me.  I made my choices based on reading the reviews and their star ratings.  I weed out the crazy all CAPITALS reviews and pore spielllers to find the people that I trust and make informed decisions based on their insights.  I wish there was a way I could first read the reviews on life decisions and ignore the crazy all capitalized poorly spelled ones.  But then again maybe I don't wish that. 

I am pretty sure the conception of SH3 would have had the following reviews: 

Review 1.     
AmaZING BABY!! SHE WILLL BROUGHT JOYS UNTELLABLE TO YOUR LIFE>  A MUST IN EVERY ALREADY STRETCHED CAOTIC HOUSE.  JuSt DO IT, have a 3 kID!!!!!!  IT WILL BE FINBE!
 Review 2.

It was determined in recent studies that three children is the most difficult number of children to have.  Parents with three children are more likely to get divorced than parents in double and single child homes and that these parents are, when surveyed, the most stressed and unhappy about being parents.  I would strongly recommend against this.


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Prioritizing my Schedule or Scheduling my Priorities

SH2 is always the first awake.  She pads silently into our room at 6:32 every morning.  I can set my watch to it and actually often use her as my alarm clock.   She whispers one inch from my face, “Mommy the owl is green” (Onaroo Night Owl Portable Night-Light with OK to Wake!) which she knows is her ticket to cuddle. 

I knew I should have been up 30 min prior and was going to be late to work, but oh I how love those few minutes of just SH2 and I cuddle time.  Competing priorities...  Just as I get her settled into the crook of my arm she says, “Mommy you are stinky, you need to take a shower.”  Great, I thought, I will never wear perfume again.  Clearly SH2 is not a fan of perfume—or more likely she is not used to it.  I explained that I would not be able to shower as I was already getting a late start for work, but got out of bed and encouraged her to cuddle Daddy.  She was in a bit of a silly mood because we segued rather quickly into, “Mommy why are your boobs so big?”  With a bit of pride, I reminded her how I fed her little sister SH3 for a year, herself and her brother.  She could not be bothered with these answers and asked if she could live in my boobs when she is little and the obvious question of if there was guacamole in there.  Having debunked all myths about my boobs hiding babies, her ability to shrink, and guacamole, her brother SH1 waltzed in dressed and ready for his day.  He is turning 6 in a few days and is beyond excited.  He asks me about his hair, should he comb it?  

Monday, February 3, 2014

Check the Barometric Pressure! The Forecast is Excellent for a Better Mom

It is odd what you remember.  My other bestie has a memory that is incredible.  We met our first week of college and were roommates off and on for a total of four years through college and medical school.  She still pulls the, “Remember when (insert funny embarrassing anecdote)…?” My reply is always incredulous amazement for what she remembers because I have no recollection of what she is talking about.  When I do remember something from childhood or college it is typically odd and out of place and I have no idea why my brain didn’t push it out to make room for more microbiology or pharmacology as I could have used the space.  For example, I remember being tested to see if I was ‘gifted’ (PS: I was not) and they asked me what a barometer was.  I remember saying it measured the pressure in the air and was so excited because I had just asked my dad the same question a week prior so I knew the answer.  Random?  Yes.

I have recently realized that SH2 is my own personal home barometer.  SH2 is potty trained when the barometric pressure in the house is low, but when it rises she is not.  (I promise this is not another post about the potty.  That being said, my universe is somewhat small right now and focused a lot on the bathroom.)  She is the first to shout, “STOP yelling guys!!” when my husband and I have a disagreement or even when we don’t and are loud talking at each other.  Please don’t judge, we try very hard not to argue in front of our kids but we are far from perfect.  For the last few months, I have felt like her incontinence was because of me and in some way responding to her incorrectly, not nurturing or God knows what.  My husband is always ready to defend me from myself, “It is not about you!  SH2 just does what she wants.”  I tried to believe that, but mom guilt is very persuasive.

Shhhh!  Stop yelling guys!