How Do I Torture You? Let Me Count the Ways

My husband and I just celebrated our nine year wedding anniversary.  We met in high school at the mutual age of 16, but our friendship did not turn romance until 2001 and since then we have celebrated a number of Halloweens together.  As a kid, I celebrated "Harvest" and dressed up as a Biblical character for the church harvest party which really was fun, but we did not go trick or treating.  Admittedly there is a part of me that is making up for that 9 year old that wanted so badly to be Strawberry Shortcake and as such I tend go overboard on Halloween and plan coordinated family costumes months in advance.   In my Ode to My Husband post on Facebook I used a picture of us this last Halloween which honestly might be my favorite pic that we have ever taken together (aside from our wedding pictures of course). 

I mean seriously this photo is amazing
Photo credit:  My sister in law, Jessica

I commented in my post that he is so wonderful about wearing the most ridiculous Halloween costumes that I can dream up.  Not only does he wear them; he WEARS them.  He really owns the part he is forced to play.  Most of his costumes end up being a one piece polyester or vinyl uni-suit which is no picnic when it is still 100F in October, but he does it for that 9 year old part of me that wants so badly to wear a costume.  He does it because he loves all of me, even the neurotic making-up-for-your-nonHalloween-celebrating-childhood parts.  He commented on that Facebook post by posting a picture of one of our first Halloweens together with a photo that I did not know even existed.  It was then I realized that I have made him look ridiculous A.L.O.T. 

You are under arrest!  CARDIAC ARREST!

Yes he is wearing a toddler sized police officer costume that we cut in various places in order for him to even get it over his shoulders, it was made of vinyl.  I made my heart cut-out sandwich board from scratch (not that you can tell) and wore a nice light sweater with cute jeans as he prayed for any breeze to get through the rips we put in his vinyl jacket.  

Come with me on this journey of love bore out in the form of Halloween costume greatness.

I couldn't let a good heart sandwich board go to waste so the next year we went to the same drug store and purchased the toddler fireman costume and added some sparkle flames to my hearts and VOILA! 

HEARTBURN!
We are the charming couple standing next to The Grim Reaper.

One of our first years together while I was in medical school he had to go to the 'Impress All My Girlfriend's Medical School Friends Halloween Party' as a Butterfly Catcher.  Outside I was a pretty butterfly with homemade wings but on the inside I was an giant ugly ass.

Butterfly and Butterfly Catcher
(even typing it makes me feel terrible)

The events that transpired in the fall of 2003 yielded a more socially relevant costume.  It was a few short weeks after Roy Horn (of Siegfried and Roy) had been attacked by one of the white tigers that found me in a hand painted tiger stripe white sweatsuit and him in a beautiful Goodwill lady's blouse and cape.  You guessed it; we were Roy and the white tiger that attacked him.  This photo is literally the only known photo in existence of this costume, a costume my mom absolutely hates.  It was one of those costumes that you had to ask yourself, "Too soon?"  I think Mr. Horn was still in the ICU clinging to life as we stepped out in this get-up.

Roy Horn and the white tiger that attacked him circa 2003

Fast forward to a few years later when children entered the picture.  We were lion tamers to my son's baby lion costume and cowboys to the horse and cow costumed kids.  Then there was the year my SH1 wanted to be a dinosaur and I had found the cutest pig costume for SH2.

The whole Toy Story family: Jesse, Ham, Buzz Lightyear, Rex
Photo credit: Terah Lake Photography

He wore a polyester uni-suit with droopy Buzz Lightyear wings.  My husband had strep throat and I had returned literally 30 minutes before this photo was taken from a four day backpacking trip down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon with a girlfriend and had the time of my life.  The charming smile he wears here is just for me because he immediately left the party after this feeling like death.

In recent years the rule has been, "So goes SH1, so goes the rest of the family's Halloween costumes".   SH1 wanted to be a pirate; we were a pirate-themed family.

Pirate theme complete with 2 pirates, shark, pirate wench, and a home-made baby parrot
Photo credit:  My sister in law, Jessica

For that Halloween, he wore yet another lady's blouse, heavy work boots, and a second hand Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean leather hat.  This year I know my husband thought he would have an awesome costume; he was going to be Captain America after all.  SH1 wanted to be the least known Avengers character, Ant Man.  It was a hard costume to make by tweaking a child's Flash costume, but it turned out awesome if I do say so myself.  The rest of us fell in line with SH2's "Bee Girl" or Wasp as she is known in the comic books (seriously there is no such thing as a Wasp costume for a 3 year old), SH3 as Hulk-ette (complete with green tutu), Lady Thor and last but not least Captain America.  Was it great? Nope.  Polyester uni-suit with extra warm polyester fill padding, gloves, and face mask.  

The Avengers:  Ant Man, Captain America, Hulk-ette, Wasp (Bee Girl) and Lady Thor
Photo credit:  My sister in law, Jessica

You need no more photographic evidence to tell that this man loves me with all his heart.  I think that is why that first picture means so much to me.  Using no words it tells the story of us, of how he would do anything for me.  Every time he slips into a limp sheer polyester velcro closure suit I imagine he thinks silently, 

How do I love thee?  

Let me count the Halloween costumes I have worn.

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